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NEWS DESK
{+} WAFS Disease - What
You Can Do To Avoid It!!....click here
There is a virus
running rampant throughout our great country. One that has been introduces
by none other than Satan himself. Never since Eve handed the apple to Adam
have women been so forthright about their contempt for men. PWHO (pronounced
POO) or Portly World Health Organization has released a warning about the
new
WAFS (Women Against Fantasy Sports) Disease spreading throughout portly
households across America. Further research shows that its co-founder (and
now sworn enemy to the Portly State) is a man. The keys to successfully
avoiding and eradicating this disease are as follows:
° Keepers : For those of us in a keeper league I cannot stress greatly
enough that you do not have to select your wife/girlfriend as one of your
keepers (no matter what they say!)
° Rotisserie: Does not refer to her cooking, it is the league you
have pledged your allegiance to!
° WHIP Ratio: Stands for “Walks, Hits, Innings Pitched” and NOT how in
love you are!
° Batters Box: The place a player stands to hit the ball, not the place
your wife/girlfriend tells you is between their legs.
° Hit and Run: Hit the ball at the same time a player steals, not what
Chris Brown did to Rihanna
We don’t completely recommend ignoring your wife/girlfriend entirely. It is
important to remember there is an All-Star break and quality time can be
spent with your woman then.
{+} Bartolo Colon is
King Hippo....click here
The
Red Sox made a Major League mistake last year by signing the future
Jenny Craig infomercial star hoping he would unleash some thunder on the
field. The poor Sox had to endure some of the worst losses while
he was on the mound and eventually just wound up sending him back home
before the season ended. The Sox just didn't know how to handle
him and his 400lbs of chewed bubble gum ass.
Now, signed by the White Sox, thinking their uniform will fit him
better, expect to get a $1 million dollar worth season out of him.
That's a lot of Big Mac's and Chicken Fingers and we don't think he is
worth even a quarter pounder. Why suffer through another season of
hopes with him in your lineup. Avoid him altogether and save your
IR spots for someone a little more worthy!
-Image: Bartolo Colon celebrates both his new 1
year contract with the White Sox and his crowning as "King of the Old
96'er" on the same day.
{+} Top Ten Drug
Busts....click here
10. Michaeil "Iron Lung" Phelps
9. Michael "Pass Me The 8-Ball" Irvin
8. Jennifer "Puff Puff" Capriati
7. The Portland Jail Blazers of the 90's
6. The Straw Man and Doc K - of the '86 Boozin', Cokin NY Mess
5. Ricky "The Predator" Williams
4. Plaxico "Is This Thing Loaded" Burris (He had to be on drugs!!!!)
3. Keith "None Left For You" "Pass The Mirror" "Did You Eat A Powdered
Doughnut" Hernandez
2. Barry "The Jurassic Cranium" Bonds
1. Alex "I Didn't Know What I Was Doing" Rodriguez
{+} Fantasy Picks for
2009.....click here
It's here!!!!!!!!! We put together the fantasy baseball draft pick
for the '09 season. Feel free to download our spreadsheet too. This
always helps for making some quick decisions and keeping track of
availability! Check it out at the bottom of our page and enjoy
What The F*&$???
Watch this hillarious little clip from the folks
at Rolling Rock.
Poor Stripey!!!
THE BIG FAT
FANTASY PICK OF 2009
FIRST BASE
1 Albert Pujols, StL 1B
2 Lance Berkman, Hou 1B
3 Mark Teixeira, NYY 1B
4 Aubrey Huff, Bal 1B,3B,
5 Kevin Youkilis, Bos 1B,3B,
6 Miguel Cabrera, Det 1B
7 Ryan Howard, Phi 1B
8 Justin Morneau, Min 1B
9 Adrian Gonzalez, SD 1B
10 Carlos Delgado, NYM 1B
11 Prince Fielder, Mil 1B
12 Jorge Cantu, Fla 1B,3B,
13 Derrek Lee, ChC 1B
14 Joey Votto, Cin 1B
15 Conor Jackson, Ari 1B,OF
16 Garrett Atkins, Col 1B,3B,
17 James Loney, LAD 1B
18 Carlos Pena, TB 1B
19 Jason Giambi, Oak 1B,
20 Casey Blake, LAD 1B,3B,
21 Adam LaRoche, Pit 1B
22 Mike Jacobs, KC 1B
23 Carlos Guillen, Det 1B,3B,
24 Ryan Garko, Cle 1B
25 Casey Kotchman, Atl 1B
26 Lyle Overbay, Tor 1B
27 Chris Davis, Tex 1B,3B,
28 Nick Swisher, NYY 1B,OF
29 Paul Konerko, CWS 1B
30 Jeff Baker, Col 1B,2B
31 Kevin Millar, Bal 1B
32 Ronnie Belliard, Was 1B,2B,3B
33 Billy Butler, KC 1B,
34 Rich Aurilia, SF 1B,
35 Hank Blalock, Tex 1B,3B,
36 Ross Gload, KC 1B
37 Pablo Sandoval, SF 1B
38 John Bowker, SF 1B
39 Willy Aybar, TB 1B,3B,
40 Chad Tracy, Ari 1B
41 Todd Helton, Col 1B
42 Doug Mientkiewicz, Pit 1B,3B,
43 Daric Barton, Oak 1B
44 Sean Casey, Bos 1B
45 Wilson Betemit, CWS 1B,3B,
46 Frank Catalanotto, Tex 1B,OF
47 Chris Duncan, StL 1B,OF
48 Ryan Shealy, KC 1B
49 Richie Sexson, NYY 1B
50 Miguel Cairo, Sea 1B
PITCHERS (SP&RP)
1 Roy Halladay, Tor SP
2 CC Sabathia, NYY SP
3 Tim Lincecum, SF SP
4 Cliff Lee, Cle SP
5 Mariano Rivera, NYY RP
6 Johan Santana, NYM SP
7 Francisco Rodriguez, NYM RP
8 Cole Hamels, Phi SP
9 Brandon Webb, Ari SP
10 Ervin Santana, LAA SP
11 Dan Haren, Ari SP
12 Joakim Soria, KC RP
13 Jonathan Papelbon, Bos RP
14 Ryan Dempster, ChC SP
15 Rich Harden, ChC SP
16 Joe Nathan, Min RP
17 Ricky Nolasco, Fla SP
18 Jose Valverde, Hou RP
19 Mike Mussina, NYY SP
20 Brad Lidge, Phi RP
21 Derek Lowe, Atl SP
22 Roy Oswalt, Hou SP
23 Ben Sheets, Mil SP
24 Edinson Volquez, Cin SP
25 James Shields, TB SP
26 Chad Billingsley, LAD SP
27 Daisuke Matsuzaka, Bos SP
28 Jon Lester, Bos SP
29 Kerry Wood, Cle RP
30 Jake Peavy, SD SP
31 Justin Duchscherer, Oak RP
32 A.J. Burnett, NYY SP
33 Ted Lilly, ChC SP
34 Zack Greinke, KC SP
35 Joe Saunders, LAA SP
36 John Danks, CWS SP
37 Gavin Floyd, CWS SP
38 Scott Baker, Min SP
39 Brian Fuentes, LAA RP
40 Josh Beckett, Bos SP
41 Francisco Cordero, Cin RP
42 Armando Galarraga, Det SP
43 Scott Kazmir, TB SP
44 Gil Meche, KC SP
45 Kevin Gregg, ChC RP
46 Bobby Jenks, CWS RP
47 Randy Johnson, SF SP
48 Todd Wellemeyer, StL RP
49 Carlos Marmol, ChC RP
50 Mark Buehrle, CWS SP
51 Shaun Marcum, Tor SP
52 Kevin Slowey, Min SP
53 Jamie Moyer, Phi SP
54 Billy Wagner, NYM RP
55 B.J. Ryan, Tor RP
56 Kyle Lohse, StL SP
57 Brian Wilson, SF RP
58 Salomon Torres, Mil RP
59 John Lackey, LAA SP
60 Tim Hudson, Atl SP
61 Jesse Litsch, Tor SP
62 Matt Garza, TB SP
63 Jeremy Guthrie, Bal SP
64 Carlos Zambrano, ChC SP
65 Trevor Hoffman, Mil RP
66 Adam Wainwright, StL SP
67 Grant Balfour, TB RP
68 Felix Hernandez, Sea SP
69 Paul Maholm, Pit SP
70 J.P. Howell, TB SP
71 Hiroki Kuroda, LAD SP
72 Jair Jurrjens, Atl SP
73 Hong-Chih Kuo, LAD SP
74 Tim Wakefield, Bos SP
75 Dave Bush, Mil SP
76 Matt Cain, SF SP
77 Huston Street, Col RP
78 Javier Vazquez, Atl SP
79 Aaron Cook, Col SP
80 Dan Wheeler, TB RP
81 Matt Capps, Pit RP
82 Jose Arredondo, LAA RP
83 Jered Weaver, LAA SP
84 Mike Pelfrey, NYM SP
85 Jonathan Broxton, LAD RP
86 Takashi Saito, Bos RP
87 Chad Qualls, Ari RP
88 Andy Sonnanstine, TB SP
89 Wandy Rodriguez, Hou SP
90 Ubaldo Jimenez, Col SP
91 Joey Devine, Oak RP
92 Randy Wolf, Hou SP
93 Taylor Buchholz, Col SP
94 Brad Ziegler, Oak RP
95 Braden Looper, StL SP
96 Jon Rauch, Ari RP
97 Oliver Perez, NYM SP
98 Jorge Campillo, Atl RP
99 Joba Chamberlain, NYY RP
100 George Sherrill, Bal RP
CATCHERS
1 Joe Mauer, Min C
2 Brian McCann, Atl C
3 Russell Martin, LAD C
4 Ryan Doumit, Pit C
5 Geovany Soto, ChC C
6 Bengie Molina, SF C
7 A.J. Pierzynski, CWS C
8 Mike Napoli, LAA C
9 Kelly Shoppach, Cle C
10 Chris Iannetta, Col C
11 Yadier Molina, StL C
12 Dioner Navarro, TB C
13 Ivan Rodriguez, NYY C
14 Ramon Hernandez, Cin C
15 Kurt Suzuki, Oak C
16 Gerald Laird, Det C
17 Chris Snyder, Ari C
18 Miguel Olivo, KC C,
19 Rod Barajas, Tor C
20 John Baker, Fla C
21 Jesus Flores, Was C
22 Jason Kendall, Mil C
23 Chris Coste, Phi C
24 Brian Schneider, NYM C
25 Victor Martinez, Cle C
26 John Buck, KC C
27 Brandon Inge, Det C,
28 Gregg Zaun, Bal C
29 Taylor Teagarden, Tex C
30 Jason Varitek, Bos C
31 Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Tex C
32 Yorvit Torrealba, Col C
33 Miguel Montero, Ari C
34 Ramon Castro, NYM C
35 Jorge Posada, NYY C
36 Henry Blanco, SD C
37 Kenji Johjima, Sea C
38 Shawn Riggans, TB C
39 Mike Rivera, Mil C
40 Jeff Mathis, LAA C
41 Carlos Ruiz, Phi C
42 Nick Hundley, SD C
43 Javier Valentin, Cin C
44 Mike Redmond, Min C
45 Wil Nieves, Was C
46 Paul Bako, ChC C
47 Matt Treanor, Det C
48 Dusty Ryan, Det C
49 Jeff Clement, Sea C,
50 Ryan Hanigan, Cin C
51 Raul Chavez, Tor C
52 Paul LoDuca, Fla C
53 Jamie Burke, Sea C
54 David Ross, Atl C
55 Jason LaRue, StL C
56 Steve Holm, SF C
57 Toby Hall, Hou C
58 Raul Casanova, NYM C
59 Max Ramirez, Tex C
60 Kevin Cash, NYY C
61 Robinson Cancel, NYM C
62 Chad Moeller, Bal C
63 Jose Molina, NYY C
64 Lou Marson, Phi C
65 Brad Ausmus, LAD C
66 Sal Fasano, Cle C
67 Humberto Quintero, Hou C
68 Ronny Paulino, Phi C
69 Danny Ardoin, LAD C
70 Mike DiFelice, TB C
71 Robinzon Diaz, Pit C
72 Mark Johnson, ChC C
73 Brayan Pena, KC C
74 Matt Tupman, KC C
75 Mike Rabelo, Fla C
76 Gary Bennett, LAD C
77 Michael Barrett, Tor C
78 Edwin Bellorin, Col C
79 Curtis Thigpen, Tor C
80 George Kottaras, Bos C
81 John Jaso, TB C
82 Ryan Jorgensen, Min C
83 Bobby Wilson, LAA C
84 Luke Montz, Was C
85 Michel Hernandez, TB C
86 Paul Phillips, Col C
87 Ryan Budde, LAA C
88 J.R. House, KC C
89 A.J. Ellis, LAD C
90 Chris Stewart, CWS C
91 Angel Salome, Mil C
92 Gustavo Molina, Was C
93 Francisco Cervelli, NYY C
94 Robby Hammock, Bal C
95 Omir Santos, NYM C
96 Eliezer Alfonzo, SD C
97 Adam Melhuse, Tex C
98 Paul Hoover, Phi C
99 Guillermo Quiroz, Bal C
100 Colt Morton, SD C
SECOND BASE
1 Dustin Pedroia, Bos 2B
2 Chase Utley, Phi 2B
3 Ian Kinsler, Tex 2B
4 Brian Roberts, Bal 2B
5 Mark DeRosa, Cle 2B,3B,OF
6 Jose Lopez, Sea 2B
7 Brandon Phillips, Cin 2B
8 Dan Uggla, Fla 2B
9 Alexei Ramirez, CWS 2B
10 Placido Polanco, Det 2B
11 Kelly Johnson, Atl 2B
12 Mike Aviles, KC 2B,SS
13 Kazuo Matsui, Hou 2B
14 Clint Barmes, Col 2B,SS
15 Robinson Cano, NYY 2B
16 Akinori Iwamura, TB 2B
17 Rickie Weeks, Mil 2B
18 Orlando Hudson, Ari 2B
19 Ray Durham, Mil 2B
20 Marco Scutaro, Tor 2B,3B,SS
21 Felipe Lopez, Ari 2B
22 Howie Kendrick, LAA 2B
23 Alexi Casilla, Min 2B
24 Aaron Miles, ChC 2B,SS
25 Joe Inglett, Tor 2B,OF
26 Freddy Sanchez, Pit 2B
27 Jeff Baker, Col 1B,2B
28 Nick Punto, Min 2B,SS
29 Mike Fontenot, ChC 2B
30 Ronnie Belliard, Was 1B,2B,3B
31 Mark Ellis, Oak 2B
32 Jamey Carroll, Cle 2B,3B
33 Maicer Izturis, LAA 2B,SS
34 Blake DeWitt, LAD 2B,3B
35 Brendan Harris, Min 2B,3B,SS
36 Adam Kennedy, StL 2B
37 Luis Castillo, NYM 2B
38 Emmanuel Burriss, SF 2B,SS
39 Asdrubal Cabrera, Cle 2B,SS
40 Eugenio Velez, SF 2B
41 Mark Grudzielanek, KC 2B
42 Edgar Gonzalez, SD 2B
43 Damion Easley, NYM 2B
44 Mark Loretta, LAD 2B
45 Ronny Cedeno, Sea 2B,SS
46 Juan Uribe, SF 2B,3B
47 Alberto Callaspo, KC 2B
48 Ramon Santiago, Det 2B,SS
49 David Eckstein, SD 2B,SS
50 Esteban German, KC 2B,OF
THIRD BASE
1 David Wright, NYM 3B
2 Alex Rodriguez, NYY 3B
3 Aubrey Huff, Bal 1B,3B
4 Kevin Youkilis, Bos 1B,3B
5 Chipper Jones, Atl 3B
6 Aramis Ramirez, ChC 3B
7 Jorge Cantu, Fla 1B,3B
8 Mark DeRosa, Cle 2B,3B,OF
9 Melvin Mora, Bal 3B
10 Garrett Atkins, Col 1B,3B
11 Evan Longoria, TB 3B
12 Mark Reynolds, Ari 3B
13 Adrian Beltre, Sea 3B
14 Troy Glaus, StL 3B
15 Casey Blake, LAD 1B,3B
16 Chone Figgins, LAA 3B
17 Ty Wigginton, Hou 3B,OF
18 Kevin Kouzmanoff, SD 3B
19 Carlos Guillen, Det 1B,3B
20 Edwin Encarnacion, Cin 3B
21 Alex Gordon, KC 3B
22 Mike Lowell, Bos 3B
23 Marco Scutaro, Tor 2B,3B,SS
24 Chris Davis, Tex 1B,3B
25 Ryan Zimmerman, Was 3B
26 Scott Rolen, Tor 3B
27 Ronnie Belliard, Was 1B,2B,3B
28 Rich Aurilia, SF 1B,3B
29 Greg Dobbs, Phi 3B
30 Jamey Carroll, Cle 2B,3B
31 Hank Blalock, Tex 1B,3B
32 Blake DeWitt, LAD 2B,3B
33 Joe Crede, CWS 3B
34 Martin Prado, Atl 3B
35 Brendan Harris, Min 2B,3B,SS
36 Ramon Vazquez, Pit 3B,SS
37 Omar Infante, Atl 3B,SS,OF
38 Pedro Feliz, Phi 3B
39 Bill Hall, Mil 3B
40 Jose Bautista, Tor 3B
41 Brian Buscher, Min 3B
42 Geoff Blum, Hou 3B
43 Ian Stewart, Col 3B
44 Willy Aybar, TB 1B,3B
45 Doug Mientkiewicz, Pit 1B,3B
46 Juan Uribe, SF 2B,3B
47 Jed Lowrie, Bos 3B,SS
48 Jose Castillo, Was 3B
49 Russell Branyan, Sea 3B
50 Brandon Inge, Det C,3B
SHORTSTOP
1 Jose Reyes, NYM SS
2 Hanley Ramirez, Fla SS
3 Jimmy Rollins, Phi SS
4 Derek Jeter, NYY SS
5 Jhonny Peralta, Cle SS
6 Michael Young, Tex SS
7 Stephen Drew, Ari SS
8 Ryan Theriot, ChC SS
9 Orlando Cabrera, CWS SS
10 Cristian Guzman, Was SS
11 J.J. Hardy, Mil SS
12 Mike Aviles, KC 2B,SS
13 Miguel Tejada, Hou SS
14 Jerry Hairston JR. Cin
SS,OF
15 Clint Barmes, Col 2B,SS
16 Yunel Escobar, Atl SS
17 Jason Bartlett, TB SS
18 Edgar Renteria, SF SS
19 Marco Scutaro, Tor
2B,3B,SS
20 Yuniesky Betancourt,
Sea SS
21 Aaron Miles, ChC 2B,SS
22 Cesar Izturis, Bal SS
23 Nick Punto, Min 2B,SS
24 Rafael Furcal, LAD SS
25 Erick Aybar, LAA SS
26 Maicer Izturis, LAA
2B,SS
27 Brendan Harris, Min
2B,3B,SS
28 Ramon Vazquez, Pit
3B,SS
29 Omar Infante, Atl
3B,SS,OF
30 Bobby Crosby, Oak SS
31 Emmanuel Burriss, SF
2B,SS
32 Asdrubal Cabrera, Cle
2B,SS
33 Troy Tulowitzki, Col SS
34 Jeff Keppinger, Cin SS
35 Ben Zobrist, TB SS
36 Julio Lugo, Bos SS
37 Ronny Cedeno, Sea 2B,SS
38 Jed Lowrie, Bos 3B,SS
39 Nomar Garciaparra, LAD
SS
40 Ramon Santiago, Det
2B,SS
41 David Eckstein, SD
2B,SS
42 Jack Wilson, Pit SS
43 Eric Bruntlett, Phi
3B,SS,OF
44 Luis Rodriguez, SD SS
45 Brendan Ryan, StL 2B,SS
46 Khalil Greene, StL SS
47 Alex Cintron, Bal SS
48 Luis Rivas, ChC 2B,SS
49 Alex Cora, NYM SS
50 Omar Quintanilla, Col
2B,SS
OUTFIELD
1 Matt Holliday, Oak OF
2 Manny Ramirez, LAD OF,
3 Grady Sizemore, Cle OF
4 Carlos Beltran, NYM OF
5 Josh Hamilton, Tex OF
6 Ichiro Suzuki, Sea OF
7 Ryan Ludwick, StL OF
8 Ryan Braun, Mil OF
9 Matt Kemp, LAD OF
10 Bobby Abreu, NYY OF
11 Nate McLouth, Pit OF
12 Johnny Damon, NYY OF,
13 Shane Victorino, Phi OF
14 Alex Rios, Tor OF
15 Jacoby Ellsbury, Bos OF
16 Jason Bay, Bos OF
17 Carlos Quentin, CWS OF
18 Nick Markakis, Bal OF
19 Jermaine Dye, CWS OF
20 B.J. Upton, TB OF
21 Randy Winn, SF OF
22 Vladimir Guerrero, LAA OF,
23 Alfonso Soriano, ChC OF
24 Magglio Ordonez, Det OF
25 Carlos Lee, Hou OF
26 Xavier Nady, NYY OF
27 Raul Ibanez, Phi OF
28 Willy Taveras, Cin OF
29 Torii Hunter, LAA OF
30 Corey Hart, Mil OF
31 Milton Bradley, ChC OF,
32 Curtis Granderson, Det OF
33 Andre Ethier, LAD OF
34 Mark DeRosa, Cle 2B,3B,OF
35 Jayson Werth, Phi OF
36 Conor Jackson, Ari 1B,OF
37 David DeJesus, KC OF
38 Hunter Pence, Hou OF
39 Delmon Young, Min OF
40 Garret Anderson, LAA OF,
41 Carlos Gomez, Min OF
42 Brad Hawpe, Col OF
43 Vernon Wells, Tor OF
44 Adam Dunn, Ari OF
45 Lastings Milledge, Was OF
46 Brian Giles, SD OF
47 Chris Young, Ari OF
48 Carl Crawford, TB OF
49 Fred Lewis, SF OF
50 Mike Cameron, Mil OF
51 Skip Schumaker, StL OF
52 Juan Pierre, LAD OF
53 Shin-Soo Choo, Cle OF
54 Pat Burrell, TB OF
55 Denard Span, Min OF
56 J.D. Drew, Bos OF
57 Jose Guillen, KC OF,
58 Jason Kubel, Min OF,
59 David Murphy, Tex OF
60 Marlon Byrd, Tex OF
61 Ty Wigginton, Hou 3B,OF
62 Rick Ankiel, StL OF
63 Cody Ross, Fla OF
64 Coco Crisp, KC OF
65 Jerry Hairston Jr., Cin SS,OF
66 Jack Cust, Oak OF,
67 Michael Bourn, Hou OF
68 Luke Scott, Bal OF,
69 Kosuke Fukudome, ChC OF
70 Eric Hinske, Pit OF,
71 Jody Gerut, SD OF
72 Adam Jones, Bal OF
73 Aaron Rowand, SF OF
74 Jeremy Hermida, Fla OF
75 Elijah Dukes, Was OF
76 Ben Francisco, Cle OF
77 Jay Bruce, Cin OF
78 Reed Johnson, ChC OF
79 Ryan Sweeney, Oak OF
80 Willie Harris, Was OF
81 Nick Swisher, NYY 1B,
82 Ken Griffey JR CWS OF
83 Mark Teahen, KC OF
84 Joe Inglett, Tor 2B,OF
85 Marcus Thames, Det OF
86 Ryan Church, NYM OF
87 Ryan Spilborghs, Col OF
88 Fernando Tatis, NYM OF
89 Rajai Davis, Oak OF
90 Josh Willingham, Was OF
91 Hideki Matsui, NYY OF,
92 Jim Edmonds, ChC OF
93 Adam Lind, Tor OF
94 Gabe Kapler, TB OF
95 Emil Brown, Oak OF
96 Mark Kotsay, Bos OF
97 Joey Gathright, ChC OF
98 Franklin Gutierrez, Sea OF
99 Justin Upton, Ari OF
100 Omar Infante, Atl 3B,SS,OF
The
Red Sox made a Major League mistake last year by signing the future
Jenny Craig infomercial star hoping he would unleash some thunder on the
field. The poor Sox had to endure some of the worst losses while
he was on the mound and eventually just wound up sending him back home
before the season ended. The Sox just didn't know how to handle
him and his 400lbs of chewed bubble gum ass.