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Holy Moses

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Speedy Cooler

For emergency beer response- call in the motorized cooler!!!




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Doo-Dads For Fat Dads

 

Go Tell It On The Mountain

Here come the holidays...  What better way to celebrate than to get the latest gadget for your portly crib.  So nail your ass to the couch (no pun intended) and check out some of the latest gadgets that we think will kick some serious cellulite!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




Grab Your Yamika and Celebrate Hammaka

Image CaptionDamn right, son...  The Hammaka is here and it's here to stay.  Plop your semi-portly ass on this bad boy of relaxation and feel the effects of gravity just disappear.  The Hammaka Cradle Chair Hammock offers all of the comfort and durability of the Original Hammaka Chair at a reduced price. The oak hardwood dowels have a chic natural finish and are extremely durable and rugged. This hammock chair can hang from a ceiling or from the optional Hammaka Tripod, Hammaka Z Stand or Trailer Hitch Stand. The Hammaka Cradle Chair Hammock is ideal for the office, dorm rooms, living rooms, bedrooms, porches, campsites, beaches, cabins, or anywhere else that can be enhanced by the cozy, relaxing feel of the most comfortable chair on Earth.

We had a ton of fun on these damn things and even started having swing set fights.  Highly NOT recommended because severe bruising will most certainly occur. It seemed pretty durable, but we can't guarantee that Walter Hudson would be supported in one (much less even Walter Hudson's leg.) So err on the side of caution if your crapper exceeds standard capacity.

On a side note - we did happen to notice one optional use for this thing.  If you haven't noticed it yet, then perhaps the fact is looks like the perfect lazy man's sex swing might brighten that light bulb.  Yes, we noticed it and think the manufacturers did as well when they kept referring to  hanging it in the bedroom.

No shame in this game and we think you'll love it. Seems durable, very comfy and a great idea as long as you have a place to put it. 

 

 



Simon of the Cross

Waking up just isn't the same anymore since Simon has become your alarm clock. We found this thing to be quite comical. Imagine this - the most annoying sound in God's creation (other than the musical stylings of Pink) and the damn thing won't shut off until you actually play the game. For those of you who were barely born in the 80's; Simon is an audio visual game in which you memorize a sequence and replay that sequence on and on until you fail. Imagine doing that crap at 5:00AM. Yeah, ok!

Whatever moron thought of this thing should be shot.  A plastic toy that continues to make an aggravating sound until you are able to play a sequence of light patterns.  AHHAHAHAH - and they made it plastic and destructible!  Ya know what sequence apparently works best is the one where it hits the wall doing about 60+ miles per hours.  The buttons seem to bounce and roll around quite easily and might be a choking hazard to animals and children.  Perhaps you too if you are craving a Life Savers Candy.  Either way, it's a cool invention but lacks anything valuable unless your intention is to give it as a gift to your worst enemy!

 

 

 




Papyrus Beer Opener

Curious Case of Benjamin Button

 

Why the hell didn't we think of this......??????


 

 




 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part The Seas and Let Your People Go!!

It can't get an more inappropriate than this..  Actually, I'm sure we'll find something else to insult you in future releases of PMM, but for now it's the best of the worst!  So fishing around the web we stumbled upon this little gem at Baron Bob's web site www.baronbob.com  We couldn't stop laughing at some the tuff that was on here, but mostly this.

It brought us into the topic of home decor for the holidays.  Christmas decorating is pretty manly so long as it is outdoors and requires a ladder.  But what about Easter?  Is there anything cool about putting a giant rabbit on your lawn?  What about Passover, why the hell can't you splatter blood on the outside of the doors while you listen for the non-believers to perish...?

OK, back on the subject.  As we browsed the "Chosen Isle" we found this...  It does take "holy crap" to a whole new level.  So prepare to part the seas my friend and let your people go!